Two days ...

"Barring some tragic problem, the dream will finally happen." (Written on August 24 on this blog)

I think that not being able to find a job due to numerous circumstances qualifies as a "tragic problem."

The crappy part of my life begins in 2 days, and the peak in my life has for sure passed. Nothing exciting enough to top or even match what I experienced when I was 20 can happen in the middle of nowhere in America while doing just an "I'm doing this to make ends meet" type of job until I retire or get let go.

I've gotta figure out how to change the domain name of this blog. Great Teacher Inuzuka is finished forever. It's all over. I cannot be a teacher in Japan now because now that one of the biggest chains of English schools in Japan collapsed, the market is permanently flooded with people who already have work visas, meaning that it is impossible for me to break into it. I just wish I had the skills and means to do another sort of job that could 1- lead me to Japan, and 2- make me feel like 23 years of hard work was actually worth it.

I learned an important lesson today

It all ended today. The years of effort I put into trying to achieve my dream of being a teacher in Japan have officially gone to waste. My "long shot" -- the last chance that I had to get a job here (aside from the interview that even the interviewer considers a long shot), has decided that rather than hiring me, they're going to keep their troublemaking current teacher. So, with only four days left in Japan and only a long shot standing between me and never being able to return to Japan for more than just a short trip, I think it's pretty safe to say that it's all over now. Years and years of struggle have only left me with memories, memories that will never return. My life peaked at 20; I don't see how, without returning to Japan long-term, I can possibly top what I experienced then. That means my life is already on the decline -- another 60-something years of just slow decline, without anything that can even hold a candle to what I experienced when I was 20 ahead of me.

I have learned a valuable lesson from all this struggle. In the seven months I have put forth my best effort to attain a dream, I have learned one thing. Effort gets you NOWHERE. It's not worth it to put forth your best effort because luck, not effort, determines your fate. I've been lied to my whole life; people have constantly told me that if I work hard I will achieve my dreams. That's a lie. If it was the truth, these seven months would have been worth more than some (for the most part, especially in Korea) lousy memories. The way to achieve dreams is through having good luck on your side. Unfortunately, with luck not on my side, my dreams are completely unachievable. I'd better get ready for a relatively lousy life, 'cos a dull, nothing-to-aim-for life is exactly what 23 years of doing everything the hard way has earned me.